Whatever Happened to Manners?

This is Alabama.  This is the South.  This is the Heart of Dixie!  So can someone please tell me what happened to our manners? 

What happened to “yes mam,” “yes sir,” “please” and “thank you?”  Where did holding doors open for ladies and respecting our elders go?  Whatever became of “excuse me” and “I’m sorry?”

To some of you this may seem foreign, but a good many of us were raised to follow these simple, yet powerful rules of life.  And, while some may question their origin, to me it is quite simple: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”    It doesn’t take a theologian to figure out that the ‘golden rule’ should be the foundation for all aspects of our lives and that everyone wants to be treated fairly. 

The problem is we are the problem.  Our children and grandchildren are mimics.  They see behavior and then emulate it.   Our kids don’t hear us saying “please” and “thank you” so why on earth should we expect that they should practice what we haven’t even preached?

In the past, our parents used and taught us manners day in and day out.  Our school teachers reinforced this when our children were in their care.  Sunday school teachers, shop-owners, policemen and almost anyone else you could think of did the same and television shows reflected these beliefs too.  All of you Leave it to Beaver fans know that even Eddie Hascal acted quite the gentlemen while adults were around.

So, where did we go wrong?  Some would say it began around 1962 when the Supreme Court decided that teachers and other school officials could no longer read the Bible to students or lead them in prayer.  Others would say it started around World War II when a lot of women and mothers entered the work force.  I’m not saying that these didn’t play a role in this breakdown, but I think it is because -- little by little -- we have become too selfish.  When you always put yourself first you tend to not care how others are treated.  Selfish folks are simply out for themselves.

Sadly, television has become the first babysitter for many of our kids.   Parents rely on it to occupy children until they get old enough to be occupied by computers instead; and neither of these devices do a good job at teaching our children manners or morals.   But, as I said earlier, we are selfish.   It is the easiest thing to do to let our kids spend time being entertained so we can do the things we want? 

I will concede that there are television shows worth watching and computer games that are helpful in teaching our kids the three “R”s . . . but not many.  If you are one of those grandparents or parents who are picky about choosing what your kids watch and play to help make them a better person then you have my admiration, but teaching by doing is far better.

Television today isn’t filled with a lot of The Andy Griffith Show, Leave it to Beaver, Father Knows Best and The Brady Bunch anymore.  Instead, it usually depicts shows that cater to cheap entertainment filled with burps, flatulence and slapstick comedy.   While Beaver and Wally Cleaver did do some outlandish things at times, what happened by the end of the show?  June and Ward found out what was going on, disciplined wisely and taught their sons valuable life lessons along the way.  In today’s television world parents are, more often than not, the slow, un-cool secondary characters that their cocky kids constantly outwit with their brilliance.  Give me a break!

Getting back to my point, these shows and games don’t teach our kids manners and how to behave in society; nor should they.  We should take the time and effort to do this ourselves.  The best place to start is by showing our children that we know what is right and what is wrong when dealing with others.  Start by saying “thank you” and “please” more often.  When we accidentally step in front of someone in public say, “Excuse me,” or “Pardon me.”  When driving let the other guy out and don’t always try to cut in front.  If you see a lady about to go through a door quit being so selfish and take an extra second or two to hold the door open for her.  Respect your elders.  Show some manners!  Don’t think because you have better clothes or a better job or nicer home that others aren’t your equal because you are no better and no worse than they are . . . just maybe more fortunate. 

So please don’t think I’m being too preachy as I say all this.  I’m just trying to hold on to something that I think is too good to let go of without a fight. 

Like my mother always used to tell us when we walked out the door of her home, “Be sweet.”